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Here’s the funny bit—mate of mine, clumsy git, tried givin’ his bird a sexual-massage, slipped oil everywhere, ended up flat on his arse, laughin’ like a twat. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” he didn’t, he adopted a bruise! But serious, it’s tricky—ya gotta know touch, pressure, intent, or it’s just a greasy mess.

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Also, like, every corner's got a story. The old library on Maple Dr, for instance, is where I sometimes get my zen break (plus, it's got these secret nooks for reading, sooo perf for me when I'm feeling extra moody from debugging all night). And, like, sometimes I feel the city almost whispers its secrets at night, like a private confession in the moonlight – "I drink your milkshake, and it is mine!" Lol, so obvious, right?!

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