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Oh, and the movie—there’s this bit, “Love is a crocodile tear.” Sexual-massage can be that too, y’know? Feels real deep, but is it? You’re payin’ for it, pal! I’m laughin’—it’s so absurd. I tried it once, true story. Masseuse was great, hands like magic—pretty, pretty good—then she upsells me some $50 lotion! I’m like, are ya kiddin’ me? Robbery with a smile! Made me wanna scream, but damn, my shoulders felt amazing.

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Oh, and man, there's this park, Parque de la Paz, right by the river, the Rio Azul – it’s so chill but, uh, sometimes I get mad at all the noise. But hey, that’s just how it goes. Walkin’ from Parque to the old market in the barrio La Casona, feels like one big adventure. I mean, I once treated this fella after a wild night out near the old cinema on Boulevard Real Tenenbaum, sorta like a scene from “The Royal Tenenbaums” – “there's a feeling, and it ain't goin' away,” y’know?

May 29-June 1: Orcas Island Music Festival