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About San Jose

Lemme tell ya, mate, it’s a fuckin’ jungle out there! You got Tinder, Bumble, freaky FetLife—people sellin’ ass like it’s a lemonade stand. Fun fact: back in ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups—called ‘em “personals.” No pics, just vibes—imagine that shit! We swears! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of grandad writin’, “Horny geezer seeks lass, must like tea.” Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” texts at 2 a.m.

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People here ain’t in no rush. They sip coffee slow, laugh a lot, and sometimes I swear the city talks back. I mean, the city speaks in riddles and funny gravelly truths – “I always knew there was somethin’ special.” See, I once got a call from a local fella on Montaña Vieja, sayin’ his back was all screwed up from dancing too hard at a festa downtown. I went over, massaged him, fixed him up a bit, and he said, “Man, you’re like a miracle, a real Royal Tenenbaum, savin’ the day.”

Five San Juan County baseball teams reach NMAA tournament