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I reckon escorts are wild, tho. Like, did ya know back in old France, them rich dudes had “courtesans”? Same shit, just fancier names! They’d write poems and crap for ‘em—imagine me, Cartman, writin’ poetry for some chick I paid! “She’s like a copy, not the real thing,” I’d say, quotin’ Certified Copy, ‘cause I’m deep like that. Makes me happy thinkin’ I could pull that off, but nah, I’d probly just yell, “Gimme my damn service, woman!”

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Hey, listen up, buddy… I'm tellin’ ya 'bout Guadalupe (cr). So, uh, lemme spin ya a story, ya know? Now, here's the deal… I've been diggin’ into this city for years, buildin’ dating sites and all that jazz, and I gotta say, this place is somethin’ else, real charm, real vibe.

In Guadalupe County, an elections academy aims to strengthen residents’ trust in voting