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About Puntarenas

So, sexual-massage—hands slidin’ everywhere, all sensual-like. Supposed to relax ya, but I’d rather chop wood. Got this buddy, Jerry, tried it once—came back glowin’ like a damn hippie. Said it “freed his soul.” Bullcrap. I’d say, “I’m not interested in your feelings,” like Gyllenhaal in *Zodiac*, huntin’ that killer. Sexual-massage ain’t my hunt. Too much touchin’, not enough whiskey.

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People here ain’t in no rush. They sip coffee slow, laugh a lot, and sometimes I swear the city talks back. I mean, the city speaks in riddles and funny gravelly truths – “I always knew there was somethin’ special.” See, I once got a call from a local fella on Montaña Vieja, sayin’ his back was all screwed up from dancing too hard at a festa downtown. I went over, massaged him, fixed him up a bit, and he said, “Man, you’re like a miracle, a real Royal Tenenbaum, savin’ the day.”

San Juan Bautista building will not need to be re-repainted