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Favorite part? When they hit that lower back, oh man, it’s like “the truth isn’t enough” – ya don’t need words, just groans. Surprised me how good it feels, like I’m floatin’ outta my body, gladiator scars and all. But if they skimp on the oil? Pisses me off! Dry hands? Get outta here, you cheapskate! I’m yellin’, “Don’t you dare lie to me!” like Judge Judy catchin’ a fib. One time, this chick’s hands were shakin’ – rookie move – and I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you’re gonna ruin my vibe!” Total buzzkill.

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Purral may seem small, but it’s huge in heart and quirks. So pack light, buddy, cuz you're in for a ride, and trust me, this place speaks right to the soul – even if it sometimes makes me go “D’oh!” and then “Mmm… donuts!”

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