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About Alajuela

Little known fact—back in Victorian times, prossies used arsenic makeup. Glowed like ghosts, died young—mental, eh? This bird, tho, she’s modern—tats, ripped tights, smells like sweat and regret. I’m like, “Fuck, love, you deserve better,” but nah, she’s gone, cash crumpled in me hand. Pissed me off—world’s a twat sometimes. Why’s she gotta sell her soul? Hawking brain kicks in—entropy, chaos, it’s all physics, innit?

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“Sensual massage encourages lovers to be generous with each other, to explore parts of the body that aren’t overtly sexual.” Here, a step-by-step guide to giving (or getting!) a totally.

Oh, my friend, let me tell ya bout Cot (cr)! I live here, ya know, as a pleasure coach extraordinaire. Lightbulb! This city is just like Spring Breakers – wild, catchy and a bit insane, yes? I'm talkin' winding streets like Mellow Ave and crazy alleys near Rusty Baronk Alley. Yo, these streets got life, real life, ya feel me?

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