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But yo, it pisses me off sometimes. These apps—full of fakes catfishing ya with filters. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I say, when some dude’s pic screams 2010 MySpace vibes. Then ya meet, and it’s like—where’s the six-pack, bro? False advertising! Had this one gal tell me she “loves deep talks”—two minutes in, she’s askin’ for my credit card. Nah, fam, I’m out—like that scene in *Under the Skin*, “You think you know me?” Nope, vanishin’ into the void, peace out!

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Now, let me spill some real talk: Parks, my friend, are where the heart beats. Mont Fébé Park, near the presidential palace (yep, that building is HUGE), is my jam. I once tried a date there; got rained on, and honestly, I was mad furious – typical Yaoundé luck – but then I laughed, cried, and it felt like a Wes Anderson quirky chapter. "I guess it’s all part of the carnival." Crazy, right?

Fig. 1. Location of Nkolbisson in Yaoundé.