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About Bamenda

Personal quirk? I’d be rubbish at it—too loud, too fat, too fond of cigars! Can’t sneak round quiet-like, I’d bellow, “Oi, who’s next?!” and blow the whole gig. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine me in fishnets—bloody hilarious! Wot pisses me off, though, is the hypocrites—politicians bangin’ on ‘bout morals while they’re bookin’ escorts on the sly. Saw one geezer in the papers, all red-faced—caught with his trousers down. Karma, innit?

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I do my magic near the shimmering river Nyongo – water flowing like dreams. Sometimes when I massage, I daydream bout the river’s gentle whispers, remindin’ me of summer nights back in Chile… uhm, I mean, back in Garoua, haha! And yo, there's this one time I got mad at a rude customer, like “What the hell, man?!” but then he started telling me about that secret in their eyes of his lost love – so bizarre, so touching! That moment, it changed my whole vibe, ya know?

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