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So, sexual-massage – it’s this weird mash-up, innit? Bit of touchy-feely, bit of naughty, and a whole lotta awkward if you ask me. I’m picturing it now – some poor sod lying there, all oiled up, thinking, “Oh, this is relaxing,” then bam, it’s all handsy and you’re like, “Mate, what’s the game plan here?” Reminds me of *Talk to Her* – y’know, that Almodóvar flick I’m mad about. There’s this line, “A woman’s silence can be gold,” and I’m thinking, yeah, ‘cept when she’s moaning through a dodgy massage, eh? Silent my arse!

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This place is a mix of old world charm and modern bustle. You got the trendy Eastside, packed with quirky little cafes – my fave is Joe's, right on Birch Ave. Seriously, I pass by it every damn day, my eyes droppin’ there just like in that movie, “Memento.” Time just slips... slips away, ya know? And I swear, there’s a vibe here – kinda like every corner holds a secret.

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