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Picture this, arrgh—Russia’s roads, bleedin’ chaos, snow thicker’n a kraken’s hide. Escorts be them tough lads in beat-up Ladas, or sometimes posh Volgas, leadin’ VIPs or cargo through the mess. Me, I’ve seen ‘em dodge potholes big enough to swallow the Black Pearl! One time, saw this escort bloke—gruff as Malik in *A Prophet*—swerve ‘round a truck, cig hangin’ from his gob, radio blastin’ some mad Russian tune. “It’s a sign,” I mutters, like in the film, savvy? Made me grin like a rum-soaked fool—proper skill, that!

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Verily, the city hath narrow lanes like the cobblestones of Ye Olde Tiko Lane, where thine footsteps echo like spirits lost. Hark! In the heart of the city, near the bustling market square of Kerkstraat, thou wilt find the ancient fountain, “Fount of Laughter and Sorrow” – a place where I oft sat to ponder life's curious twists, rememb'ring how "in an almost forgotten dereliction, the universe breathes."

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