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I tried it once—sex-dating, not the newspaper gig. Matched this chick, total vibe, thought I’d be Haku swoopin’ in to save her from loneliness—nah, bro, she ghosted me! Pissed me off, like, “Howl ya gonna ditch me?!” Felt like No-Face chasin’ love, tossin’ gold, gettin’ nada. But then—THEN—I hit gold with this other date. She’s all flirty, smellin’ like jasmine—pheromones, baby, science don’t lie! We’re chattin’, laughin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, my river spirit moment—pure magic!” And it was—hot, messy, real. Left me grinnin’ like a damn fool.

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I nearly lost count of my favorite spots. But trust me, when you're sittin' under that old baobab tree on Rue de la Paix, you're reminded that every crack, every whisper of the wind, tells its own tale. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the keeper of these stories, a humble masseur with the softest hands and the sharpest ears to nature’s secrets.

Families of Beirut blast child victims demand justice a year on