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About Kumba

But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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I gets proper emotional sometimes here! Happy, mad, and confused, all at once, like when the neon lights flicker on Mulholland's dark corners, rattlin' like broken clocks. I might tyro bits, err, typos, sorry precious, but that’s just my rush, ya know? Like "mmyyy preciss" and "secrrets" there, 17 messy bits in all, heh heh heh.

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