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But lemme spill the tea—some o’ these johns? Nasty as a skunk’s behind! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort, swear she had a client ask for somethin’ so freaky, she said, “I’m leavin’ this earth!”—straight outta Lars’ movie vibes! Got me hollerin’—Halleluyer!—‘cause who even thinks that up? Prolly some fool with too much money and no sense. Made me madder than a wet hen, I tell ya!

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My fav spot? There's a tiny alley called Whimsy Way. I find hidden courtyards there, full of mellow chatter, cute graffiti and even the old statue that mispell history on its plaque. It’s a quirky splodge of art and time, like a scene from that flick, Melancholia. I mean, as I usually mutter, "the skies are falling, but my hands soothe pain," even as I scramble around lookin’ for a break—a real Mr. Bean moment, yarr!

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