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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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Ohhh, yes, precious, let’s tell ye all about our sweet Ngaoundere, my precious! Uh, oh, my friend, you won't believe what we've got here, yesss.

Around 10 students from Lycée de Burkina in Ngaoundéré, in Northern Cameroon, expelled for indecent exposure on Facebook