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Anyway, they’re tough, messy, real—screw the haters. Dr. Evil approves—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—whores run the world, lowkey. Watch *White Material*, you’ll see what I mean. Now, where’s my evil coffee?

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The local park, Sprout Park, is a breath of fresh air. I love to sit on its worn bench, watching the kids do silly cartwheels. It kinda reminds me of my younger days, full of youthful energy and hope. Honestly, I get super zen there. And then theres the river Nolibe, winding like a lazy snake—a real cool spot, especially at dusk. It gets me all emotional sometimes, like I’m about to cry happy tears... or mad ones if those noisy motorcycles pass by too fast, haha!

Samuel Eto’o in tears as he finally buries his father 11 months after his death