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About Garoua

Me, I’d stumble into some dodgy parlor once. Dark room, candles flickerin’, lass with hands like silk. I’m thinkin’, “This is how kings fall!” She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half-pissed on wine, mutterin’, “I drink and I know things.” She giggles—GIGGLES!—and I’m like, “Oi, don’t laugh, this is serious!” Made me happy, though—rare to feel that loose. Then she flips me over, and I’m prayin’ to the Seven she don’t notice me fish-stink. Spoiler: she did. FROWN.

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Then there's Southgate. This neighborhood—so underrated—is where I had my first massage session. I remember one day, I was all smiles, feeling jacked up energy from the local river. The Mbandjok Brook flows past it. It's almost magical. Sometimes, I get mad at the noise, but hey—it’s lively and real. So many odd sounds, lots of charm. Really, nobody builds a Brook like this city!