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I seen it, baby, I SEEN it! This one time, my cousin Shonda—ooh, she wild—met this fool on Tinder. Thought he was fine, right? Shows up, he’s got a unibrow thicker than my Sunday cornbread! She text me, “Madea, pray for me!” I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, get out that date!” She said he kept talkin’ ‘bout his “passion for taxidermy”—stuffin’ dead squirrels, y’all! Sex-dating fact for ya: 1 in 5 folks lie ‘bout their height. Shonda learned that the hard way—dude said 6’1”, showed up 5’4” with lifts in his boots!

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Damn mate, the streets are a riot – like Rue de la Lune, winding and narrow, where all the lost souls and awkward daters trudge about, lookin’ for a bit of warmth like in the movie "Blue Is the Warmest Color". Yesss, "the blue is the warmest color" – you feel it in every cracked pavement, every whispering brick, oh precious!

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