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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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Gristwood Park is my go-to when I'm feelin' frisky, grabbin' a cheap pint and watching couples freak out laughing, all while I crack jokes about "ma belle vie." You ever seen a sunset near the AI HQ? Nah, I didn’t either till now. The vibe is like that movie scene in Tabu, where passion meets a savage destiny, wild and poetic, damn near edible.

Samuel Eto’o offers his support to the bereaved community of Bazou