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About Bern

Here’s the tea: it’s sensual, sure, but not always “happy ending” crap—tho, yeah, some spots push it. I ain’t judgin’, live your truth! What suprised me? How it’s legit therapy too—releases oxytocin, that lovey-dovey chemical. Who knew? I’m over here, half-asleep, droolin’ on the table, picturin’ Terrence Malick filmin’ this with his long-ass shots—“The sun, the hands, the oil…”—and I’m crackin’ up. “Look at us, so alive,” the movie says, and I’m like, damn straight, this massage is LIFE.

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You know, I got this story: one evening, after a super busy day at the parlor, I strolled down Avenue des Champs, thinkin’ ‘bout all the people that come in here looking for a bit of peace. And it hit me, like BOOM – life’s as unpredictable as a massage session, ya know? One minute you’re kneading out their stress, the next you’re ragged, thinking "Shit, that’s life, baby!" Damn.

‘Cent Mille Milliards - Virgil Vernier’