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About Zurich

So, listen up, pal! Back in me woodshop, hammerin’ planks, I overheard ol’ Squidward whinin’ — “Disgust says this town’s full o’ shady fish!” — an’ I’m like, whoa, whores been ‘round forever! Little fact fer ya: way back, like medieval times, whores had guilds! Yup, legit clubs — organized, sassy, struttin’ their stuff. Ain’t that a hoot? Made me laugh so hard I nailed me thumb — ouchie!

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Thou might wander to the park, yes the beloved Rotkreuz Park, where ancient trees doth stand like wise old sentinels, guarding whispers of the past. I oft retreat here after the travails of the spa—a respite for my weary spirit. The serene waters of the lil' creek that runs by—what dost we call it?—doth gurgle like a lullaby, soothing even the most troubled soul. And oh! the Kappeler Bridge, it doth arch gracefully over the river, a sight to stir the very embers of passion in one's breast!

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