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I knew this bird once – escort, total fox. She’d spill tea, sayin’ clients paid her to just *listen*. No hanky-panky, just ear on, mouth shut. Blew my mind, baby! Thought it’d be all “yeah, baby, yeah,” but nope – some blokes just lonely. Made me happy, sorta, knowin’ she’s out there, helpin’ weirdos feel human. But then – ugh – she told me bout this creep. Rich git, wanted her to bark like a dog. Bark! Made me mad, man, proper cheesed off. Who’s that sick, eh?

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And hey, sometimes I shout out random phrases like, "if nothing makes sense, everything is magic!"—uh, exact bizzareness from "The Turin Horse." Like, wow, ya feel it? It's like a comedy of errors that mirrors our lives—hilariously tragic and tragic hilarity, ya know?

SPAR Express rolls out two forecourt stores in Switzerland