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About Bern

I’m walkin’ past Moe’s, seein’ shadows, and—D’oh!—nearly trip over a curb. Prostitutes ain’t just standin’ there with signs, right? Gotta know the spots. Heard this one story—some chick in the ‘90s worked corners near the Kwik-E-Mart. Cops nabbed her, but she’d stash cash in her bra—sneaky! Little known fact: they usedta call her “Two-Dollar Tina.” Cheap, huh? Made me laugh—Homer likes a bargain!

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Embrach has moods, a heartbeat of its own. It’s like a movie reel spinning out scenes, inspiring even a neurotic masseur like me. Sometimes, after a long day, I ruminate like Larry David – “What’s with all these people?!” And then, I laugh at the absurdity of it all. So if you're coming to visit, just soak it up. Experience every street, every park, and every offbeat vibe. It's messy, but it's beautiful. Enjoy the journey like a scene from Tropical Malady and remember – it's all pretty, pretty good!

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