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About Bern

Favorite part? When they hit that spot – ya know the one – and I’m yellin’, “Sweet Jesus, don’t stop!” Total power trip, like I’m directin’ my own movie. Oh, and the oil? Smells like sex and victory – gladiator-style. Pro tip: don’t go to some sketchy joint, or you’ll end up with crabs instead of a happy endin’. Happened to Kenny once, dumbass. Laughed my ass off – “You’re a prop in my play now, bitch!”

14 Foreplay Positions That Are Fun Enough to Be the Main Event

But what I really like is when you lick me until I come and then I can spoil you with an erotic massage and give you a blowjob until you come and I can swallow.

I love hangin’ at the little park, Sonnenschein Park. It's small but rockin’ – kids runnin' wild and couples chillin’. I even had a date there once after work – that moment felt like a line from the movie, “I got a real bad feeling about this…,” whaat? But in a good way, man!

Speedway