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Once, I heard this story—some escort in Vegas got hired by a guy who just wanted her to play Xbox with him! No hanky-panky, just gammin’! Blew my mind, dude! I was like, “What a freakin’ weirdo!” But then I thought, shit, I’d pay for that—kickin’ ass in Halo with a hot chick? Hell yeah! “Are we lovers or not?” I’d ask her, all dramatic like in the movie, then burp in her face for laughs.

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I’m not gonna lie, I've seen moments that made me mad too—a developer wants to ‘modernize’ an ancient church side and wipe out all the historic charm. It gets me steamed, you know? Gritty rebellion in every massage knot I ease out. I always say, “Sweet baby doughnuts, preserve the soul!” And sometimes, my mind drifts back to feelings akin to those epic lines from The Grand Budapest Hotel: “There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse.” Except here, the glimmers are warm, and the chaos is art.

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