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About Lucerne

Oh, and get this – in France, they’ve got snail farms, proper snail HQ. Blows my mind! Saw it on the telly once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine the CV: “Snail wrangler, 2010-present.” Reckon I’d smash that gig, me. Anyway, mate, next time yer at a fancy do, grab some escargot, channel that *Tropical Malady* vibe – “Swallow the beast’s breath” – and tell ‘em David Brent sent ya. Top notch, that’s me! Snails, eh? Who’d’ve thunk it?

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Now, park time: there's an awesome little park over near the Schlosstalplatz. I mean, it ain't huge but it's perfect for moping around or laughing with pals – sometimes I sit there and spill my heart, kinda like when Richie loses it in the family drama. And there’s the Zofingen River – it quietly flows, whispering secrets of old but also making a mad splash when rain comes. "Ruh-roh," it can get wild sometimes!

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