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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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now, let me tell ya 'bout some of my fav nooks. west of Hauptstrasse, you'll find the quirky district of Elderviertel. yeah, it’s underrated, filled with funky art murals, and a parkin' that’s ideal for, like, lazy weekday strolls. i once got lost trying to find a meeting spot near Mozartweg – oh boy, ended up at a father-daughter ice cream spot, but man, that was one sweet surprise!

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