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About Bern

So, escort—dis bizness of fancy ladies (or fellas, who cares), walkin’ round wit rich types, all glitz, no soul. Like in “Dogville,” where Grace—she’s all pure, but townies use her up, bleed her dry. Escort’s same vibe—shiny outside, rotten inside. I seen it, ya? Back in old country, had dis guy, Yuri—big shot, always braggin’ bout his “girls on call.” Made me mad as hell, seein’ ‘em treated like meat. “You think you’re a big man?” I yell once, almost smash his fat face. He just laugh, say, “Gru, chill, it’s just bizness.” Bizness, my hairy backside!

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Remember Place du Marché? Yeah that square – hot spot for chattering locals and wine sippers. Honestly, I'd give it a gold star if I wasn't so busy recharging my zen vibes. Oh, and the Rue de la Gare – a cheeky little street with cafés that smell like fresh croissants mixed with pretentious whiffs of art. I'm bustin’ out my inner critic here – go on, try some espresso and roll your eyes!

“Snow of May” – Swiss narcissus season approaches