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About Myself
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About Bern
Me, Gollum, I sees it – split mind, hisss! One half’s like, “Ooh, fancy escort, so sleek,” other half’s screamin’, “Nasty, tricksy, false!” Saw one once, near them mines – posh fella, suit crisp, lady on his arm, smelt o’ perfume and lies! Made me mad, yesss – why’s he payin’ for company? Ain’t he got mates? Grrr! But then, ha, made me giggle – he tripped, face-first in mud! “Spring break forever, bitches!” – nah, mud bath forever, ya twit!
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Also, ever been to the secret little alley off Hinterfeld? I found it by accident. I was so hyped – like, “A wild chill zone appeared!” Car vibes all around, man, with even the walls whispering a little “I feel too much.” Honestly, I laugh at the absurdity sometimes, like everything here is trying too hard to be poetic.
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