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About Biel-Bienne

Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, right? They’d oil up wrestlers for “massage”—half sport, half foreplay, slippery bastards. Bet they’d smirk at us payin’ 50 quid for it now. Me, I’d rather a lass who knows her way round me strings—erotic-massage ain’t cheap, and I’m a stingy git. Once got one in Lannisport—well, King’s Landing, whatever—lass had hands like a butcher, I was ragin’. “I’m not some bloody cipher!” I barked, thinkin’ of Zodiac’s killer dodgin’ justice.

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And then there’s that quirky little cafe on Untergasse 12. I swear, every time I pop in, it’s like a brief scene from "Far From Heaven"—the tension, the hope. I once spilled a coffee there, got all jittery, and thought, "I am never this clumsy again." Lol, epic fail, right?

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