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But srsly, it’s a jungle out there. Catfishin’ happens—met a “Brad,” was a Brenda! Laughed my ass off, then cried. “Where’s the human race goin’?” I mutter. Like in my fave flick—desperate, chaotic, raw. Sex-dating’s that vibe—hope and horniness mashed up. Some stats? 1 in 5 hookups start online now—wild! Used to be bars, now it’s DMs.

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Now, don’t get me started on the little river Rösli. It flows by the edge of town. So serene sometimes, with the water glistening like a dream – makes me think of “an ecstasy so rare” (yeah, quoting my fave movie, buddy). But then, sometimes, my thoughts ricochet – “Why are we all so damn messy?” I get mad every time I see trash near the banks. Ugh, really grinds my gears.

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