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Little-known fact – back in the 90s, pre-apps, folk used newspaper ads for hookups! “Man seeks woman, likes walks, wink wink.” Mental, right? Now it’s all “DTF?” in your inbox. Surprised me first time – some lass straight-up asked, no faffing about. Happy days! But the flops? Christ, one date I had – girl brought her mum! Mum! Like, what’s this, a bloody interview? Laughed my arse off after, but in the moment? Mortified.

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And ohhh, sometimes I get mad, I hiss! When they cut down the old tree in Hintertief, yayyy, it made my heart sink—like wasted time, precious time! And then, whizzing by, a stray memory of a massage session where someone's sigh felt like a secret, whispered secret from the shadows. It reminds me: “We all have our own lies, precious, just like our own memories!”

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