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About Lucerne

Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So, erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, you’re layin’ there, all chill, and some pro’s rubbin’ you down—total “Joy” vibe from *Inside Out*, ya know? “We’re takin’ you to the MOON!”—that’s me, floatin’ on happy vibes. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s not just some sleazy backroom deal, nah, it’s legit art! Been around forever—ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “bodywork” or some fancy crap. Bet they didn’t have neon signs like today’s parlors, tho!

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There’s this lil' secret park, “Blumenweide”—hey, slight oops, maybe it's “Blume Park” sometimes—uh, well, it's an actual hidden gem! I used to sit there scatter tissues tryin’ to unwind when managing family meltdowns at home. Some days I’d be cheerin’ ‘cause kids learned to hug properly, others I’d be mad ‘bout folks not gettin’ it. Some folks just ain't on the level, innit? And don’t even get me started on the river “Simme” — yeah, that’s a proper flow, flowin’ though the valley like life's own emotional rollercoaster.

Russia sends 240 goats to North Korea in second shipment this month