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About Lugano

But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.

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Parks? Check out Parc de la Montagne. Green, wild, makes my heart sing. I sometimes run there, barefoot, to clear my head while thinking “Is everything so wrong? Maybe not!” Have you seen small cafés near square Place de la Liberté? They serve coffee that snaps you back to life. I spill my dreams there sometimes, throwing words around like “Lightbulb!”, again and again!

500 kilos of cocaine worth £41million is seized at Nespresso plant in Switzerland