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About Lucerne

Look, I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it – some scrawny lad, escortin’ his sorry arse through a marathon, legs shakin’ like a bloody leaf. Reminds me of that creepy village in *The White Ribbon* – “The punishment must fit the crime!” – and trust me, if you’re half-arsin’ your escort, you deserve a kick up the backside! Haneke’d get it – all that tension, silent screamin’, it’s the same vibe. Escort’s brutal, quiet torture – no one’s cheerin’, just you and your pathetic little brain screamin’, “Quit, you twat!” But you don’t, do ya? Cos you’re a stubborn git!

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The Reppisch river flows nearby and sometimes I accidentally wander off. Ooops, yeah, my bad… but that river, it’s like nature’s hug. And then there’s some cool hidden spots definitely known only to locals—I found a tiny, nearly invisible café on Helvetiastr, my secret hangout for deep, deep mumbles and odd thoughts.

Tour de Suisse: Bryan Coquard wins stage 2 sprint