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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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So, my friend, when you hit this place, just stroll along Hauptstrasse, peek around Kappelgasse, chill in Milchbrunnen Park, and let the soft murmur of the Flussli guide you. Trust me – this city is a mosaic of moments, raw and unfiltered. Remember, “Life is taboo, but that's what makes it beautiful.”

Cyclist Gino Mäder dies after Tour de Suisse crash