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About Lausanne

I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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errr... oh, did you know? The old mill near Seestrasse? Yup, an abandoned relic. Totally underrated. It’s spooky cool. Like, one minute you’re laughing at your own shadow, the next you’re pondering life’s deepest mysteries. It kinda rips you open, no joke.

Federer hometown refuses to take centre court