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I’m tempted, right, but nah, I’m a coward. “Can’t we just talk?” I ask, like a prat. She laughs, “Talk’s extra, you wanker!” Fair play, she’s got bills. Made me happy, her sass—hate them mopey types. But angry too—why’s she gotta hustle like this? World’s a shithole. Exaggerating? Maybe, but feels like *Yi Yi*’s “We’re all alone” vibe. Deep, innit?

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The city parks? Hoo, my heart goes wild over Milchbrunnen Park. I’m a sucker for its hidden benches and secluded corners. I remember one day feeling so freakin’ free, like personally communing with nature. Just like that line in "Tabu" – you know, “the secret life of things” – it hit me hard. I got mad at the world sometimes for not seeing the beauty in a park bench or the rustle of leaves.

A Swiss village has banned refugees, and decided to pay a £200,000 fine instead