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About Zurich

So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, but *should*. Therapeutic? Sure, if therapy’s a euphemism for somethin’ else. I got mad once—some schmuck swore it cured his back pain. Lies! His smirk gave it away—pure lust, not lumbar relief. Made me wanna whack him with my cane. But then, I tried it—yeah, me, the sarcastic cripple. Surprise hit hard—those knots in my shoulders? Gone. Happy ain’t the word; I was smug as hell. “I’m cured!” I yelled, like a melodramatic ass.

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I’m not gonna lie, some parts of this city drive me nuts—like that endless construction by the old mill—BUT, its soul is so freakin' deep! My heart races to Batman tunes every time I see the vine-covered walls near Seestrasse. Then, bam—a flash of The Dark Knight energy, “Why so serious?” becomes my morning mantra.

Tony Fretton wins Swiss housing contest