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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, ok? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through Rome, thinkin’ bout *The Great Beauty*, that flick I love—pure art, man! Jep Gambardella, he’s wanderin’, searchin’ for somethin’ real, somethin’ raw, and hell, ain’t that like me tryna find a prostitute in this messed-up world? Not that I’m out there lookin’, but if I was—stay with me—it’d be a trip!

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Man, I remember one client, a pompous bureaucrat from Kriens (yep, nearby) telling me how peaceful it is. Ha! As if the constant steam from the café on Lindenstrasse isn’t enough to remind you reality's never that serene. Oh, and Probstgasse – its quirky sidewalk art? Genius or trash, depends on your mood. I mean, my hands say genius 'cause they feel the texture of life in every stroke, but my brain... well, it just throws up its hands sometimes.

Golden jackal caught in Swiss photo trap