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About Lugano

So, check this—ancient Rome had these wild “rubdown” joints. Rich pricks paid big for oily hands to work ‘em over—sound familiar? Like me yellin’, “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” when the good times roll. Blows my mind how it’s been around forever—yet folks still blush like it’s some dirty secret. Pisses me off—own it, ya prudes! It’s a fuckin’ art—hands kneadin’, oils drippin’, pure hedonism.

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Then, oh my gravy, there’s the Muttenz Park, right? A chill spot behind Länggasse. I had like, ten mini-meltdowns admiring sunrises there – I swear, the park makes every morning magical. And don’t even get me started on the river, well not exactly a river, more like a trickling brook near Girodstrasse, it’s like nature’s little whisper, “I can see Russia from my house!” – totally dramatic, even if I’m just exaggerating, but hey, that's life!

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