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About Bern

What pisses me off? The judgy jerks. “Oh, escort’s dirty!” they say, clutchin’ pearls. Man, shut it! People gotta eat, pay rent – who am I to point fingers? I’m over here burnin’ milk half the time. Mmm… donuts. But happy? This one time, a chick told me she escorted to fund her art – painted like Picasso on crack. That’s dope! “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…” – yeah, hustle’s hustle, baby.

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I’ve got my own hidden fav spots too. Like this quirky, tiny park on Chemin des Près—mmm, sweet little hidey-hole. Yeah, it’s kinda rough round the edges, benches all dog-eared (my fingers still ache from one massage there… whoops). And oh, near Rue des Bouleaux—don’t ask me why—they got these drawers of tiny cafes, not mainstream at all. Not many know that, so shhh, it’s our lil secret.

Rochefourchat, the village with a single resident