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About Bern

Heya buddy! So, like, whores, right? I’m thinkin’ about ‘em, and—WHOA—they’re everywhere in history! Like, old as dirt, man! Oldest job ever, probs. I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m wonderin’—is whorin’ like, an art? Like in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”? You know, my fave movie! That flick’s got grace, man, and whores got that too, sometimes. “The sword remains pure!”—that’s what they say in the movie, but, like, whores? They’re pure in their own weird way, ya get me?

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Oh shoot, I’m goin’ on tangents – haha, forgive me, I get carried away sometimes. I just can’t keep quiet 'bout how every brick and tree in Losone tells a story. The park by Via Fiorentina gets me happy as a clam, full of green and vibrant energy. And if ya take a stroll by River Ticino at dusk, you're in for a treat. The reflections, the soft murmur of water, it's like the world pauses, just for a moment.

Diners Fined for Not Finishing Food at Swiss Restaurant