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But when it works? Holy crap, it’s gold! Met this chick, Lisa, total freak in the sheets—oops, TMI! We hooked up after two days of textin, fastest score ever! I was like, “Michael, you magnificent bastard!” She even laughed at my jokes, which, let’s be real, ain’t that funny. “We must do it,” Saul’d whisper, all serious, but me? I’m just tryna Netflix and chill, ya feel?

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So I'm a relaxation dude here, right? And Langenthal, where else, is a treat. I stroll Rue St.-Aloysius. It's quiet but popss with culture, like a secret garden. There's a nudge of art in every corner. I mean, every time I breathe here, I feel like, "Caché... did you see that?" Like, "R2-D2, where are you?" I always mutter that in panic when nature surprises me.

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