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About Bern

What gets me proper mad, though? The hypocrisy. Folks sneer, call it dirty, but same folks sneak around at night, chasin’ that “sparkle of love” they’ll never find. Makes my blood boil! Like, own it or shut it, yeah? Anyway, back to the streets—there’s this one lass, red lipstick bright as a ruby, leanin’ against a lamppost. She’s got that *Moulin Rouge* magic, all charm and danger, like Satine herself singin’ “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” I’m half in love, half terrified, thinkin’, *Blimey, she could ruin me.*

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I also gotta mention that street art in Kuttigen just cracks me up. I found a mural on Gutenbergstr that says "I can see Russia from my house!" and laughed my ass off. (Yeah, really, the locals are cheeky like that!) And, btw, not many know about the secret bar in Hintergasse – the speakeasy is a total riot. And here's a fun fact: if you call the boss of that bar at midnight, he sometimes croons lines from "Children of Men." Weird af, but amazing.