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But—oh, man—sometimes escort pisses me off! Last month, this rookie escort forgot the route—FORGOT! My crates of fancy wine sat there, sweatin’ in the sun, while he’s scratchin’ his head. “Wanna know how I got these scars?” I yelled—kiddin’, didn’t say that, but I wanted to! Cost me a grand to reroute. Chaos, pure chaos, and not the fun kind.

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So, Herzogenbuchsee—literally a hidden realm—has these funny-named streets like Bahnhofstrasse, where the vibes are all chill and little cafés buzz like tiny secret rendezvous. I remember rushin’ past Siedlungsweg and Länggasse, where I developed my dating app, watchin’ souls collide in a weird, lovely dance. And oh precious, the park! There’s a green nook near Seeblickplatz, where the grass seems softer than a whispered promise. Yess, yess, and sometime a lovely old river, the Buech, gurgles secrets like lost memories!

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