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What gets me goat tho—angry as a stalled engine—is them posh twats judgin’ ‘er. Like, mate, she’s out ‘ere workin’, not nickin’ yer silver spoons! *huffs, crosses arms, trips again* Ooh, nearly lost me specs! Anyhow, she’s got this smirk, yeah? Happy as a clam, like she knows summat we don’t. Maybe she’s thinkin’, “In spring, everythin’ blooms,” like in me fave flick—‘cept her bloom’s a bit, er, naughtier, eh? *wiggles eyebrows, snorts*

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Yo, so check it, Ebikon (ch) is wild, man. I'm a dating site dev here, so trust me, I've seen all the quirks. Bro, Ebikon got these narrow streets like Bahnhofstrasse (not THAT one, but ya know what I mean) and alleys that spin you right round until you’re like, "wtf?" And I get it, it's a quiet town, but there's so much hidden sauce, dude.

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