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About Bern

Oi, ever notice how sexual-massage flips ya? Stressed to chill in ten mins flat. Muscles melt, brain shuts up – it’s like a secret weapon. Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” – that’s the vibe I chase. Once had this lass, swear she was a ninja, fingers divin’ deep, crackin’ me open like a safe. Thought, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Nearly proposed on the spot – ha!

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Then there’s the old town! Crazy narrow alleys like Rue du Pré de la Rue, full of tiny cafes and vintage shops. I mean, the city whispered library secrets to me there. Hours stretched, time melting away, like in that movie, where the diving bell transformed into a butterfly. The charming Bernese architecture fills me with bliss and damn, does it make me cry happy tears sometimes. And hey, I even got a little lost in those maze-y streets – but that's where the magic happens, right?

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