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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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Over near Dreispitzplatz, there's this quirky little park. I often chill there after a long day at the spa. I sit by the small pond, think about life. I recall a scene: "Who watches the watchers?" from that flick, The Lives of Others. It's like, the town's own secret agents, ya know? Even if they're just squirrels hiding nuts!

Question of the week: why do so many Swiss rental cars have AI plates?