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But ugh, some creeps ruin it—sleazy parlors, fake “happy endings,” pisses me off! Like, dude, it’s art, not a porno! Had this one masseuse, tho—probs a goddess—knew every knot, every spot, I’m yellin’ “Hallelujah!” in my head. Surprised me big time, didn’t expect THAT from a $50 Groupon! Little fact: in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery seaweed gel—wild, right? Slidin’ like hippies on dope!

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i hang near da downtown, at a pub by the museum. friend told me “the art here is simply amazng” – lol, i was like “srsly?” then i realized, ya gotta vibe with it, man. i love how even the simplest blocks like willow lane have these hidden murals. they make ya go “damn, that's cool” – and they remind me of those handwritten note-ups in the lobby of the grand budapest, all meticulously crafted but with a dash of pure whimsy.

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